Dilemma

Argh what a dilemma I find myself in.
I have been GIVEN some wool...... But then I find there are conditions..... I can have it if I make a jumper for a friends son out of it......Well there goes nearly half of it.
Then said friend wants me to make her a Sophie out of the purple ( of which there is very little and was the only colour I really liked out of all of it)
Said wool is rapidly diminishing before my eyes and it appears I am to be left with a pile of brown wool that I wouldn't personally buy and would only maybe use for a market bag. Really doesn't seem to be reward enough for the time that would be involved in making a jumper for someone else when id prefer to make a jumper for my own child.
As it is the child that the jumper is intended for doesn't even want a knitted jumper......says he would NEVER wear it.
He is at that age where knitted stuff just isn't cool and I have to say the choices of either brown or a really scary bright blue aren't very attractive.
Friend wanted me to use the blue for the jumper cause she didn't like the brown.
Personally don't think id use either cooler for anything id want my child wearing. But colours were chosen by her mother in law so she is just choosing what she prefers of the two.

Think I'll just return the wool as its actually quite insulting to think that this person thinks my time and effort is only worth a jumpers worth of ugly wool.

Am actually annoyed that this mother in law hasn't listened to her grandson when he has told her he doesn't want a knitted jumper.

It would be one thing if she was making a jumper for him herself.
But I know if I made this jumper id be hating every damn stitch of it, knowing that the recipitant isn't going to appreciate the effort involved and would hate it.
It would take all the fun out of knitting for me.

And knitting should always be fun......

I did it......

Yep I made a Sophie...... from www.magknits.com....... I used Panda woolbale 50 in a lovely burgundy colour.
I wasnt sure If it would felt or not as the yarn recomended for the pattern isnt avaliable here in Australia and I havent yet figured out the process involved for ordering from overseas........ besides...... I HATE waiting.... and I like to be able to see and touch the yarn I am choosing.
This may be something I have to get over as compared to what seems to be available overseas we have a rather limited range to choose from here. :(
But anyways Sophie looks beautiful........ and now i want to make those fuzzy slippers I saw somewhere on line cause this felting stuff is FUN!!!!

Just got to push this nagging conscience of mine away about completing the other damn sock i started ...... I will get around to it one day....... maybe :P

Password..............

Password.......... what do you mean password??? Actually I should be saying........ What do you mean that isnt the right password???
I cant help it if I opened said membership months ago and so of course now dont remember the password.

This was what I was thinking when trying to post a message on a messageboard and it wouldnt accept my post cause I wasnt logged in........ so I try and log in and of course I cant.
OK so I try and just open a new account ..... ooops lol.
But of course it tells me there is already a member using that e mail address...... ARGH!!!!
YES YES I know I should write my passwords to such things down but I always think I will remember them as they are usually something pretty odd at the time.

SO of course I sit there for twenty minutes trying different oddness to see what kind of mood I may have been in when I opened account. But of course I cant remember at all........ Just get to sit there and laugh at some of the crazy passwords I have used at times... ( the crazy ones that I remember anyway )
Well yeah ok enough about my annoyance...... am actually in a pretty good mood..... am expecting a package of cd's and dvd's to arrive very soon so am all excited YAY!!!!

Reminds me I have to get off my butt and send some packages myself so others can be just as excited by their mail delivery person....... damn it would help if our postie was attractive :P he he

Is quite amazing how we "meet " ppl on line and think we get to know them...... but then when it comes time to send them something we suddenly realise we arent quite so sure about what they will or wont like.....that maybe we dont know them quite as well as we previously thought. We suddenly doubt ourselves and our friendships and have that lil bit of doubt that maybe these on line friendships arent real after all...... that maybe all our real friends ( the ones who dont bother getting on line ) were right and that you cant really get to know a person on line. But then magic happens.......... things suddenly fall into place and you know exactly what they will like and you find that you seem to know these on line friends soooo much better than you do your supposed real friends......
Maybe just for the fact alone that on line its all expressed in words...... so if someone types Id like a blue hat........ well there is no mistaking the fact that they actually want a blue hat........ we tend not to communicate that clearly in person for some reason.... Its all messed about and said in amongst a heap of irrelevant stuff so by the end of a converstaion you are left wondering...... did they say they wanted a hat? or did they just kinda like the one they saw in the shop but dont actually want one???

Hence the wonderful tool I have found in leaving notes for my family...... they can eiher reply by note or chat about said topic.. but it means we are all clear about what I want to communicate about.
Might be as simple as " I want to go to the shops at whatever time.... so can you put all washing out before then" for some reson this works so much better than if i actually ask in person........... request seems not to be so conveneiantly forgotten 2 seconds after i have made it this way......... notes also gives ppl a chance to think about what they want to say before they say it...... so avoids a lot saying things and then regretting it latter. is easier to stay on topic when writing cause your hand gets tired so you just say what is needed and then leave it.
HA!!! Like I stay on topic here LOL
But hey this is different........ this is my place to just dribble on...... and on...... and on :P
Anyways enough dribble.......

Whoot!!! One down and one to go......

Well I did it...... finally. I finished THE sock........ About time I know.
Only problem is , now I still have another one to do and I am already designing a million colour combinations and patterns for other socks I want to make. The only real problem here is that I actually have two feet and think I will lose interest in any pair of socks I want to make once the first one is done.... maybe I will just start wearing all odd socks so I only ever have to make one of each..

Hmmm will consider that idea for a while and see if I can come up with a better solution.
There are just ssooooooooo many things I want to make and I just cant knit fast enough...... or keep interested long enough to finish a whole heap. I tend to have about 6 things going at any one time...... but on the up side when they are finally completed it seems like a lot of things get finished all at once.
So far this year I have one green sock and one purple fluffy scarf made.. so much more to go......
Who knows...... maybe I will get more done now that I am actually keeping track of what I have done.

And Yipeeeee

Ok Ok so I probably shouldnt be quite this excited ....... but....
I did it..... i did the heel YAY!!
Still have to do the foot and toe ect but hey I did the part I was dreading........ and guess what..... it wasnt that hard. ACtually not sure what I was worried about now :P he he told you id probably end up saying that.

Only thing is ,now I have to finish this one and then there is still the other to do.Nevermind........ I have incentive....... shhhhhh I spent a ridiculous $22 on a ball of hotsocks from needlenook....... yes I caught a ridiculous 3 buses to the other side of town yesterday so I could finally check out Highgate Needlenook.......Was definatley worth the trip......yummy yummy.
Finally a range that spotlight and lincraft just dont stock......Debbie Bliss......Jo Sharp......
Only problem now is choice.......... and of course price...... blah. Why is it I always like the most expensive yarn in the shop???
Well at least I know where it is now and can sneak back later.
Also came home with two balls of Jo Sharp silkroad dk tweed........ what to make what to make hmmmmm off to dream of nummy things to make......

Deceptive Socks

And to think I actually thought I was at the point where these socks became difficult ........ I was only at the point where you decrease for god knows how many centimetres BEFORE you finally start on the heel. So have only done about 6 rows of the heel flap before giving up and falling asleep at an incredibly late hour........ only to find myself awake at an even stranger hour.
Rambling, rambling...... yes I know...... well I am allowed to as I havent had a cup of tea or even any chocolate yet hence brain is all slush.

Have to say am soooooo very tempted by the reopening of the shops........ I managed to avoid it yesterday..... but today would seem to be another matter entirely..Why is it that shops hold so much appeal........ when he truth is I have everything I need right here, if Im honest I have more than enough........ actually have so much stuff that I can't find a home for it all.........SSSSHHHHhhhh I never admitted that. I just want to spend a rather hot day 31 here ok thats about 85 to most of you........ on buses (ewwwww) to the other side of town....... sheeeesh this is going to take hours just to go and look in a couple of lil shops that might....... and only might have some different yarn than the usual stuff available in Lincraft or spot light. Ohhhhh this is gonna be such a long day

Okies that would be what happens..........

Okies and now dont i feel stupid...........
Ah well had to figure it out somehow :P

Blah and what happens if i do this???

Jess, Chocolate and Knitting

And today the knitting wins

Yep, Today the knitting wins...... well it was till my sock got to the hard part ( the heel) hence the need to blog instead. Delaying tactics anyone?
Yes I know.... I WILL make this damn sock.......... eventually.
And yes I know once I have made it I will be wondering what on earth was so hard about it.
But at the moment the instructions just arent making much sence to me. Although I have been assured they will magically make sence once I have done it....... One needs to do this to learn it apparently.
Well back to the learning process I guess.

Ok continuing from before...... have since been fooling around and randomly looking at other ppls blogs....... Stumbled upon Alyx's blog and wow.
Here I am dribbling on about being frustrated by not knowing how to make a damn sock while it would seem her whole world is falling appart.
Up untill now I have really only been reading knitting blogs as a way of finding out what others are making or intend to make ect...... all pretty tame as most ppls whose blogs I have read have kept their blogs fairly nuetral....... based on knitting and a bit about their lives, enough so you get a feel for what kind of a person they might be but not enough that you feel you really know them.

Alyx's blog differs hugely from this as it is just raw feelings being expressed...... you read it and all you can feel is her pain and confusion. Im not sure if she ever really meant for it to be read or if it is just an outlet she has found for expressing herself. Blah its been posted on the "Net" so of course its meant to be read......... I guess I mean read by ppl she knows........... Isnt it always easier to talk to a total stranger than those closest to us???

And Alyx.... I have no idea if my comment will link back to this........ blah I still havent figured out how to make my posts appear after each other...... but if you ever read this.......... your parents do care...... their walking away is because they care so much... because they dont know what to do next..... because they dont understand or know what you need......... they feel helpless.

And feeling helpless, not having control...... not being able to stop your pain is more than most ppl could deal with....... even more so when its your parents...
They are the ones that love you in a way that no one else ever could and to see you hurt destroys every idea and image and dream of what they want for you in your life.
This is where I sound like all the grown ups you have ever known and say " you wont ever understand the love of a parent untill you yourself are a parent " But honestly its true.
And damn i so want to kick my mum for actually being right about that........ but of course its the ONLY thing she was ever right about......

And YES I have been guilty of this myself...... of backing away cause its too hard to see ppl I care about hurting so damn much......... ( Andy.... I know you think I have walked away at times ) of not knowing what to do or what to say......... feeling that everything that can possibly said has been said a million times and nothing has changed. That I cant change anything........ that I am powerless to help. That just listening isnt enough.... that understanding isnt enough. Feeling too much of my own pain to be able to take on any of anyone elses. Trying not to feel......
OH wow and this was soooooooo meant to just be all light hearted and a lil place i could keep a track of my creative confusion and express my frustrations and triumphs ( blah there had better be triumphs)........ way too much thinking today........ ok back to the sock challenge