Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Sleepy Happy Dances

I seem to still be receiving birthday presents. Not just actual gifts as such(although I am still getting those :) ) but nice things are happening, things that matter. My mother and I are actually getting along, not only are we getting along but we are being honest with each other, we are bonding.

I was thinking this last Tuesday on my birthday after spending nearly 2 hours on the phone with her then. I was too scared to acknowledge it then in case it was just one of those things..... You know....... Mum was in a good mood but next time we speak it will be as distant as ever.

To totally understand what I am trying to say and how big a deal this is you need to realize that my mum and I generally only speak two sometimes three times a year.

Usually once around Christmas and then again in July for Miss B's Birthday.

It's usually stilted and awkward and uncomfortable with neither of us knowing what the hell to say to each other.

For those of you close to your Mothers I realize you probably can't even begins to understand this..... but it's how we have been for years.
Several times we have both tried to talk more and spend more time together but I don't think either of us was totally ready to just be ourselves and say what needed to be said. There was a lot of you annoyed me when you did blah and it hurt when you said blah and none of us was ready to just say it.

So for us to be able to be saying some of those things and asking questions and really listening to the answers is a big thing.
Previous family history is coming out and emotions are being discussed honestly instead of being denied or not accepted. We are just being us.

Our reasoning for different things is being discussed and we are getting to know how each other thinks, what matters to us, what our priorities are and why we value one thing over another.
We are finding common ground with Knitting and craft. Yay for knitting!!!

I called Mum last night to confirm the time and place we are meeting up today. I called about 6:30 pm. We didn't get off the phone till 1 am.
6 and a half hours......... That would have previously been about 3 years worth of contact. And I get to spend today with her too.
Amazing.
It has only taken me till I am 30 to finally get my mum back. She is no longer the person called mum that I feel I should call every now and again. Now she is MY MUM and I want to call her and I want to know what she is doing, how she is. I want to send her silly things just cause. I want her to know what I am doing, how me and Miss B are doing. I want to share things with her.
Does that explain why I am doing sleepy little happy dances all around the house this morning.

Oh yeah knitting content........... Well there is none......... Blame mum and the phone call ;)

1 comment:

Barbara said...

Hey, there's knitting content here -- important knitting content. I keep meeting people who are walking examples of knitting's healing power. Who would imagine what you can do with sticks and string, beyond make some scarves and stuff?

And happy birthday!